Author: Adam
Email: BABUSHKA8778@aol.com
there is a secret in me that is waiting to escape. there is something i
want to say to you all but i write this in its place. i am afraid not of
what i have to say but of what the rest while in their shock and awe yell
and spit in my face. i want to tell you what it is but i can not bring my
self to do so. i still wish to tell you that is if you still wish to know.
below is my second contribution to this site and i feel
this poem has a lot of meaning behind it.
the love that i can never award is the love that is expected. the love
that i want to receive is the love that will never be allowed. the love
that i want to give is the love that no one likes .the love that few know
of is the kind that i desore. the love that very few can give is the love
i wish to get.
the love that i want from HIM.
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Author: jen
as i sit there in silence with my best friend, tracy, across
from me at dennys, my heart races. races so hard that im afraid
that its goin to jump out of my throat. finally i muster up the
courage to talk. "Tracy, im bisexual." the sounds
of those words echo in my head is a say them aloud. its not
possible, i cant be bisexual, however i long to kiss and fool around
with another gurl. all of our high school friends were straight,
in fact no one there was gay. for my peers, gay was just an
adjective describing something stupid or "retarded".
my bisexual orientation was conformed when i meet another bisexual gurl.
as we laid in bed, her arms around me, i knew that i was in heaven.
that moment i know that i was actually a bisexual and happy to be with
her. my first experience helped set me 'straight' (if you will)
on my decision of my sexuality. until then, i was always
wondering, longing, to know what its like to be with another gurl, and
just figured that i was bisexual. before her, i was afraid to tell
anyone, since i did not know for myself. the knowledge that i
might be bisexual tore me up on the inside, there was no body to turn
to, no body to talk to. i was unsure how anyone would react to me
being confused and yearning to come out. so tracy was not too
shocked, and she has always supports me with everything i do. im
glad that she did not drop me. as for my rent, i refuse to tell then.
though i do not live with them anymore, i do not want all ties cut off
by them. i fear how they would react to this, and do not wish to
find out.
it has been over one year since i told tracy, and encounters with new
people find it obvious that im bisexual. however i find it hard to
hear my self say that i am bisexual, which makes it even harder to pick
a hottie little gurl. its not the im ashamed of being bi, in fact,
im very proud to be out. however i find it dumb
founding since for the longest time ive heard that "its
wrong to be bisexual and gay". but after coming out, i had to
be stronger with myself so that i brush off the ridicule of hearing how
being gay is wrong. |
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Author: Ericka
Email:
ms_wingstbaa@yahoo.com
Ignorance must be hell. I'm in a theatre arts class at school (I
really didn't have to take it... it was just the only class that was open
without me taking JROTC), and we have had some pretty intense debates from
birth control, war, religion, and most recently, homosexuality. I
can't precisely remember why we ventured onto that topic, but I sat in my
back corner seat, rage burning in me as the stupid (dyed) redhead said
something to the effect that all gays and lesbians were dumb and each
needed to, in effect, switch partners... or some stupid foul mouthed
comment. I was still sitting in the back corner of the room, biting my
lip, trying to not say anything as the 'artificial intelligence' was still
spouting at the mouth. But, finally, my (natural) red headed temper
gave in, and I raised my hand, was acknowledge by the teacher, and took
the plunge of (what I thought then) death and insanity. "Listen, most
lesbians and gays I know are 'better' Christian than the people who say
that they all should be murdered. "In effect, if someone says that someone should
be murdered, someone heard the first party say gets a bright idea, and
kills someone, isn't the first party at least partially responsible for
the murder," I asked.
She looked at me, narrowed her eyes, pointed at me, and said,
"You're a friggin lizzie, aren't you?"
My face turned red, with fear, anger, and a barrage of intense emotion,
but pride in myself forced me to not back away. "I am."
I've lost what little friendship I've had with the un-named person, but
I don't miss it. Relationships with real friends have more than
made up for the loss. Most people have really shied away from her,
and have tried to befriend me. My teacher still asks me if I am
lesbian, and I assure her I am, and she just smiles. People still
give me hell, but it's occasional and most people offer to kick the
stupid person's butt for me.
My personal view in anything like this situation is that you may say
what you want, but unless you want to make a total and complete anal
hole of yourself, get your facts straight (lol!!). |
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Author: Jeff
Email:
kylelunt420@hotmail.com
Ok, here goes, today's April 11th, and today's my birthday, and of all
the
days to cause drama, this had to be the day. I turn 19 today, and this
guy
I've been trying to get with (Rob) is a real cutie. He's straight
acting,
which is a huge turn on for me. I met him last sunday, and obviously we
fooled around a little bit. So, this weekend I'm hoping we'll "go
all the
way". Yes, I am a virgin, but I'm really eager and I could care
less about
my virginity. I talked about what I'm planning on doing with him with
Kay,
and she's totally against it. She told me that I should wait and get to
know
him, because the sex we'd have would be ten times much better than if we
did
it this weekend, having know each other for less than two weeks. I can
understand where she's coming from, but hey, I'm 19 and young and horny
so
what could you expect out from me. We came back to my house, and I
called
Rob to talk about where our relationship is going. I told him that I was
looking for a meaningful, long lasting relationship, a boyfriend I could
stay with for a long time. He told me he felt the same way about me too,
and
that's when he broke my heart. He told me that he likes honest
relationships, and I totally agreed with him (who doesn't want an honest
relationship?) and that's when he told me he's been using ice (some
intravenous drug you inject in yourself) for a while, and that totally
broke
my heart because of the fact that I've found someone that I'm really
interested, and then he pulls this on me. Obviously, I broke up with him
because I don't want to have a boyfriend that doesn't care about
himself,
his own body. So yeah, I'm all lonely, I'm the only gay guy at my
college
here in hawaii, but the good thing is, is that everyone at my college
doesn't care about the fact that I'm gay, and that everyone likes me for
who
I am so that helps out a lot. I'm really blessed with the support and
understanding my college and friends give me. But then again, I found a
boyfriend that I can't have for my standards. It really sucks that
I live
in a place where there's next to zero gay guys out here, at least around
my
age. It really sucks growing up gay and not having a partner to love. Oh
Well. |
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Author: Erika
Email:
ms_wingstbaa@yahoo.com
Ok... I'm 16, and I have come out to my mother and an assortment of
friends (about 10). I'm not going to delve in detail of all of the
coming out (or outing in one instance), rather, I'm going to outline my
experiences.
The first (and easiest) person I came out to was my friend
Samantha. She is bi, so I knew she would understand, but I was so
scared at first, I just said I was bi, but I few days later, I told her
that I was gay. She said she still understood. I came out to Zylie
at church writing notes. Basically I just wrote that I was gay,
and she said that was fine, she knew other people who were gay. This is
one of the more entertaining coming outs: I was in the car coming home
with my friend Aaron. We were sitting, listening to Michael
Jackson, when I turned down the music and blurted out, "I'm
Gay." Well... I should have waited until we weren't moving,
because he braked suddenly, almost threw me into the glove box (thank
Goodness for seatbelts!), and said, "Finally! I always
knew!".... then he looked at me with an evil glint in his eyes and
said, "Can I watch sometime?"
I told Mom. I didn't get kicked out of the house, she didn't
scream or cry, and we didn't do any Springer type antics. In fact,
she sat calmly and said, "Well, if you're gay, you're gay. I
still love you and want you to be happy." All RIGHT!! I
told Chris using neopets instant messaging system (it's the big thing at
my school... bigger than Everquest or D&D). I typed if I had
told him my secret. He said he didn't, so I typed that I came out
to my Mom the week before. "Came out... what do you mean,
came out?" I began to type "I'm gay!" but my friend
Melody glanced over, saw it, and gasped. "Oh SHIT!" I
though to myself. She put her hand on my arm and said it was
alright, that she also always suspected. I hadn't sent the message
to Chris yet, so I just walked over to him and told him. He was
surprised, but said, "Well, Ok. That's fine." I
think the best coming out experience was with Ramon. I casually
mentioned that I had been on Mogenic the night before. His face
lit up, and I said, "I'm gay." He gave me a crushing hug
and told me how proud of me he was, and asked me how many people I had
told, and asked about my girlfriend. I still remember that
experience when someone is giving me crap about being gay.
In the weeks before I first told people, I had read many horror
stories about people being kicked out of the house because of them being
gay, and was so convinced that I was going to lose all of my friends,
and be kicked out of the house, but to my great surprise, I haven't been
kicked out, and not only are my friends (true friends) have been OK with
this, they have stood up for me. I have been blessed by God for
him giving me all of these great people in my life. |
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Author: Adam
Email:
isadamnormal@aol.com
well i am not
so sure on where to start this little story, but now that i think of it,
the journey began on Sunday-night June 13 2003 (well at least i think that
was the date). that is when i told my best, well one of my best friends.
her name was Stacey. i told her over the internet, and to my expectations
she took it extremely well. she was all happy and it just made me make a
sigh of relief. the next day at school i told two more people. my oldest
friend Eric and his girlfriend Sam. they were both really supportive. but
i knew they would be that is why i told them. But then came the difficult
part. i had to tell my mother. i swear that it was a sign from god that
when i came upstairs from the computer room she was watching Will and
Grace (the best comedy in the world by the way!) it was the one ( for
those who know the show) where will forced jack to tell his mom he was
gay. i could not believe that this episode was on, it was almost like it
was meant to be. well when i told her i was surprised at her response. it
was " well how can you be sure?" and i wanted to tell her it is
something you know because of the way you feel around people and things
like that but i didnt want to start an argument (because she can really
argue) so i just said that it just might be a phase i am going through.
but i know it isnt i know who i am and i am proud. but back to the story.
then she said the most supporting thing i could ever hear. " you are
my son and i love you no matter what." than i went back down to the
computer and my best friend Andrew was on. but when i tried to tell him he
just logged off and he was the last person that i wanted to tell for now.
but through out school and our schedules i would talk to him until friday.
and this is why he is my best friend. i was online right when i typed it
to him he sent back a little smile face, the one like this =-o. and then
he told me that he was ok with i and that he was proud of me. i actually
cried for a few seconds because i knew that if my closest friends were ok
with it that i would do just fine when it came to the rest of my
friends.ohh just in case you are wondering here is a little of info on me.
i am 15 well soon to be 16 on the 16th of september. i am 5 foot 11 inches
and have brown hair blue eyes. and i am not the lightest thing on legs but
i prefer the term PLEASANTLY PLUMP! LOL
it is 3:51 in the afternoon right
now and as i am sitting hear typing this i am wondering how to finish it
up.... i know, a little advice. for those still in the closet. there is so
much more room outside of it than in. i know it maybe hard for you but
look at the other stories and you'll see that it isnt that hard. i mean i
did it and i am the scardest thing to walk on this earth, well actually i
wouldnt go that far but it make s for a good pep talk.
just tell the people you trust the
most whether it be family or friends or a religious figure of some kind.
the first one is always the hardest. but i can assure you there is always
someone that you can trust. and if you are at a loss of those people right
now my aol screen name is IS ADAM NORMAL and my email is IS ADAM NORMAL@AOL.COM.
feel free to contact me if you wish. there is one more thing i want to
tell you all before i finish. it is a quote that was on the young gay
america site.
hang in tight 1 day at a time you wont be lonely forever. it gave me the
courage to come out i hope it will work for you. goodbye! hey there is one
more thing i must say. the only acceptance you need is your own. now after
you are done reading this i expect a little email or something because
this is some writing! lol i am just kidding you dont have to if you dont
want to . but seriously, elenor roosevelt said " NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU
FEEL INFERIOR WITH OUT YOUR CONSENT" i think this is a good way to
finish out this little story of mine. good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
